


in the water

by spacebutterfly



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 17:06:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4572684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebutterfly/pseuds/spacebutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Memories of a time Miyagi had all but forgotten resurface in the form of a dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the water

“ _Hey mister, wanna feed the ducks?”_

 

Miyagi looks up to see who spoke. The ceiling stares back.

Another weird dream. One of those annoying ones where you can hardly remember the details the moment you wake up. And then that frustration makes it stick in your head for hours as you try to make some kind of sense of it.

Ducks? What about ducks?

A groan from Miyagi’s side tells him that Shinobu has woken up. The boy rubs his eyes and stretches, then casts a sleepy glance at him. “What, you’re not up yet?”

“I’m about to be,” says Miyagi, sitting up. “My brain feels foggy today for some reason.”

“You’re just getting old,” Shinobu replies, still curled up under the covers.

“Then why is it always you who sleeps in?” When Shinobu doesn’t reply, he nudges his shoulder. “Don’t fall asleep again.”

“I won’t...”

“That’s not very believable.”

“Shut up...” the boy murmurs, his voice too tired to have any weight to it. Miyagi would like to leave him be, but he’d only feel worse having to wake him up a second time.

“Don’t make me say it again. Come on. I’ll make breakfast for us.”

At those words, Shinobu sits up blearily. “...I’ll make it.”

Miyagi smiles stiffly, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“No, you won’t.”

 

***

 

What’s amazing is how incredibly normal this daily life feels, as if it’s been this way for years. Waking up together, eating together, sleeping together.

It’s not the first time he’s experienced that kind of routine. ...But it is the first time that he’s ever been able to gain so much joy from it.

Work has remained much the same, though. Miyagi tries not to pull anything with Kamijou that would incur even the theoretical wrath of his partner, but really - if the younger professor doesn’t want to be teased, he should act in a less teaseable way.

“You look tired today, Kamijou! I can’t imagine why...you didn’t pull an _all-nighter_ with someone _,_ did you?” the professor beams, swivelling in his chair.

“THAT-! Is _none_ of your business!” Kamijou exclaims red-faced, having barely stepped foot in the office one second before. Swishing a wad of documents in the professor’s face, he adds, “If you have time to ask stupid questions, can you at least look over these? It’s for our next meeting.”

Still grinning, Miyagi nods, taking the documents out of Kamijou’s hands. “Anything for you!”

The younger professor does not grace that with a reply.

Miyagi turns and places the sheets of paper on the desk, subconsciously raising his gaze to the window. The weather is good today - sunny, but not too hot, and the sky is a beautiful shade of blue.

Huh.

_The stream rippled in the gentle breeze, reflecting the brilliant blue sky. A duck, straying just a ways from its flock, was preening its feathers in the water. He was no great lover of animals, and yet he lost himself in its motions. It was alive, and it was absorbed in its action. It took no notice of his presence at the water’s edge. To it, he may as well not have existed._

_Ah._

“ _Hey, mister.” There was a voice at his feet, and it sounded so distant that he didn’t realise it was aimed at him at first. He looked down._

_Eyes, wide and scrutinising, that must have belonged to a very small person. No ideas of what to say formed in his head, so he said nothing. The little person didn’t seem impressed. He probably frowned as he said,_

“ _Uh, hello? Are you listening? I said, what’re you doing?”_

Miyagi blinks, trying to sustain the image of the dream. Someone had been talking to him. A child, most likely, but his memory already seems like a blur. For some reason he can remember the duck, its feathers shimmering in emerald green and earthy brown, but the child is like a whisper in the wind. No, not just the child. Even himself - had that been himself? - had felt like a distant concept.

“Professor, are you _listening?_ ” Kamijou repeats with increasing frustration, and Miyagi finally snaps to his senses.

“Sorry about that, Kamijou,” says the man sheepishly, tearing his gaze away from the window. “I started daydreaming all of a sudden.”

“Really, I hope that kid’s not playing you up again, making you lose your focus like that...” the younger professor huffs, from his own side of the office.

“No...no, for once, it’s nothing to do with him, actually,” replies Miyagi morosely.

But it’s strange. Dreams are just dreams - why should this one play on his mind so much in particular? It makes no sense. Literally.

Sighing, he returns his focus to the documents in front of him.

 

***

 

After sifting through what Miyagi considered a reasonable amount of work, he had left early, much to his assistant’s chagrin. In fairness, today he just can’t concentrate as much as he’d like. He tells himself that a drive might clear his mind, even though he knows full well that that’s never worked before. Regardless, he puts his hands on the wheel and lets himself drive for the sake of driving.

Shinobu’s classes finish early today too, but he usually hangs out with his friends until Miyagi is done with work, and the man doesn’t feel like messing with the usual routine. Well, it’s not only that. What he really wants is some time to get his thoughts in order. If he acts frazzled around Shinobu, the boy’ll pick up on it and hound him into oblivion.

He halts the car at a stop light.

“ _Are you sad, mister? You look sad. Here...”_

And then what?

Miyagi frowns, drumming his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. Just then, his phone beeps at him, and within an instant, scarcely having to think about it, he’s unlocked it to read the message.

From Shinobu, as always.

Miyagi blinks. For goodness knows what reason, he’s sent a photo of a pigeon on the street, a particularly rotund one with its feathers sticking out in the wrong places. An eloquent caption follows:

_its you lol_

Biting the inside of his cheek, Miyagi lets his phone drop into his lap as the light turns green.

And the worst thing is he would have intentionally been trying to interrupt his work by sending him that nonsense!

What's it supposed to mean, anyway?!

 

***

 

It happens without thinking, really, Miyagi just goes where his feet take him. This path...should be familiar, he’s sure, or he wouldn’t be walking it, but it doesn’t quite feel that way. Not enough to really affirm to him ‘Yes, I know this place. I’m supposed to be here.’

It’s a park, one of those ones with long, tree-lined paths, and a stream running through. And in the stream...of course, naturally, there are ducks. They complete the picture when you think of a place like this.

It’s the time of day when there aren’t many people around except elderly people and mothers with children too young to be in school. Perhaps he looks out of place here. He would have never worried about something like that before... What’s with him these days, getting worried over the tiniest things? Shinobu would never let him hear the end of it if he knew.

There’s a flurry of commotion from the ducks all of a sudden. A child beams, throwing scraps of bread from a bag under their arm. The birds flap and splash as they snap up the morsels floating in the water.

Something is clawing its way to the forefront of his memory.

 

***

 

_14 years ago_

Yoh did not run from painful things, nor did he stand and ignore them. He let them wash over him, like wading through ice-cold water - he took them all in, because hurting was one of the few things that made him feel alive.

To think that he would be graduating university in just a few weeks ago now. It did not feel strange or sudden, it was the natural consummation of the work he had put in these past years, but it felt hollow. He had not skimped on his work for a single moment in his entire academic career ever since _she_ had passed, and nobody could doubt Yoh’s passion - he was met with praise and acclaim from every professor that he ever exchanged words with. And yet the fact remained that while in the world of literary study he had gained knowledge and footing, his heart was no closer to reaching a state of peace than it had been some three or four years ago.

He would, of course, continue as he had thus far - he would keep learning, keep climbing, burying himself in the work that she had loved so much herself. It did not matter if he couldn’t find an answer. Love was enough.

To be able to feel so much resolve on top of a crushing lack of care about the world was as hypocritical as the cold chill he felt on this warm, sunny day. The weather pointed and ridiculed his gloominess, and the ducks quacked with some kind of cruel laughter.

No, actually, that last part was ridiculous. Ducks didn’t laugh, they were just ducks. Yoh stared as one particular fowl began to preen itself, not a care in the world. Animals had so little to worry about.

“Hey, mister.”

Yoh flinched. He hadn’t expected to be talked to - he usually gave off enough of an unapproachable aura in public that people left him well alone. He was so taken by surprise that even when he realised that the speaker was only a kid who just about reached the height of his knee, he still didn’t respond to him with anything more than a cold stare.

“What’cha doin’?” The child inquired, his pale grey eyes locking onto Yoh’s in an instant.

“I’m watching the ducks,” said Yoh matter-of-factly, considering that if he just answered in his usual curt way, the kid would get bored and leave him alone. From what he could tell, his parent or guardian wasn’t in sight.

“I like ducks,” said the boy, as if this was important information. “They’re funny.”

“Right.”

The kid narrowed his eyes scrutinisingly, as if sizing Yoh up, then held up a bag which the older boy hadn’t even realised he’d been holding. “Wanna feed the ducks with me, mister?”

Yoh blinked - did he _look_ like he wanted to feed the god damn ducks?! - and eyed the bag. Weren’t those frozen peas?

“Don’t people usually feed the ducks bread?”

The kid made a noise of dissent. “Bread is _bad_ for ducks! It makes their tummies upset. Ducks like fruit and vegetables!”

“Well, I learned something new today,” said Yoh blithely.

“Yeah you did!” the boy grinned, before taking a handful of frozen peas out of the bag and lobbing them at the nearest waterfowl. “Here ducky!” he cooed, before yelling with excitement, “EAT IT!”

He looked pleased with his handiwork as the ducks snapped up the floating greens. Yoh sighed.

“All right then. Let me take a handful, too.”

The kid beamed as he held out the bag. It was such an honest expression.

They continued like that for a few minutes, the ducks getting increasingly eager, and with it, coming closer and closer to the bank. The boy laughed.

“Look, we’re friends now!”

...Was he talking to the ducks, or to him?

“Shinobu!” came a shrill voice from somewhere down the path. Yoh and the kid looked up to see a woman running towards them. Or perhaps more of a girl than a woman, as Yoh realised as she came into view that she looked like she could be around his age.

“Sis, you’re late. The ducks are full up now,” said the kid flatly.

“ _Don’t_ run off like that! There’s no rush! And you could fall in!” the girl huffed. She gave Yoh a disconcerted look, and took the boy - Shinobu - by the hand. “Don’t you know how rude it is to bother strangers? Come on...”

“I’m not bothering him. We were feeding the ducks together!”

Yoh took the situation in blankly. He was glad to be alleviated of the boy’s presence, because he _had_ been starting to wonder where the hell his parents were, but as strange as it was to admit it, talking to him had been fun.

“Well, that’s just lovely,” the girl continued, “But we’re going this way now. Say goodbye to the nice man.” Though looking at her her suspicious gaze, she didn’t seem to regard him as much of a nice man at all.

“Bye bye, mister!” Shinobu beamed, waving as his sister pulled him away.

Yoh waved back, and without quite realising it, a smile had touched his lips.

 

***

_In the present_

Miyagi sits down on the park bench, eyes wide with amazement.

It’s just so unbelievable. It feels less like a dream now and more like a real memory, something that really had happened all those years ago, but had been buried away in the recesses of his mind. He has few memories from that time of his life that really jump out at him, other than things to do with work and study. That was intentional. He hadn't wanted anything to remain in his mind other than _her_ , and literature. It was all he needed to keep going.

That kid...had it _really_ been him? Could such a ridiculous coincidence even be possible? What if he's just letting his dreams and his memories get mixed up?

But considering the time span...it really could have been him.

Miyagi furrows his brow. He wants to ask Shinobu about it, but would that do much good? He might not remember it, even if it did happen.

As he kneads his temple, he casts a gaze over a duck waddling near the water's edge. After it toddles a small platoon of ducklings, their downy yellow feathers glowing in the sun.

Well, now's a good time as any, Miyagi thinks to himself, taking his phone out of his pocket.

Catching the latter-most duckling in his lens, he types out a message to the kid.

_Is this you then?_

Thinking himself quite clever, the man hits send and puts the phone back in his pocket, only for it to beep at him a moment later. Shinobu's eloquent reply...

_no_

And then, not even a second later,

_where are you??_

Oh, right. As far as the kid's concerned, he's supposed to be at _work_ right now.

 

***

 

“So you're skipping work?”

“No!” Miyagi insists. “Do you know how many vacation days I have saved up? I think I'm justified in leaving early this one time.” Shinobu just shrugs in response, his gaze elsewhere as the two of them walk side-by-side along the bank of the stream.

“You should have told me you were gonna leave early.”

“I told you, it wasn't exactly planned. Anyway, you're here now, aren't you?”

“I guess so.”

“You get touchy over the smallest things,” says Miyagi, immediately regretting it as he can practically sense the kid's fur getting ruffled. “Look, more importantly, Shinobu...” Shinobu looks up at him, apparently gathering that he's going to say something important. “Do you...does this...Is this park familiar to you?”

Shinobu gives him a quizzical look, then looks around. “Sure, I've been here a few times before. It's pretty nice.”

Miyagi frowns. Not exactly the answer he's looking for. “Well, yeah...but I mean...”

“...What is it?”

“It's just...it's hard to explain...”

Shinobu glares at Miyagi with such intensity that he almost wants to take a step back. “Tell me.”

“I-it's not that serious!” The man says quickly, then sighs. “All right, I'll tell you. It's kind of a long story, so let's take a seat over there...”

Miyagi explains from start to finish – the weird dream, and the eventual recollection. Shinobu listens with an indiscernible expression.

“And so, I guess...I was just wondering if you remember anything like that happening at all.”

The boy's expression is guarded. “Well...I guess I...” Miyagi's hopes soar. “I...don't really remember. Sorry.”

“Ah. Well. That makes sense,” says Miyagi, a little more disappointed than he expected to be. “Well, maybe I was just-”

“But,” Shinobu cuts in, “I...I think it probably could have happened. That girl you saw me with was probably Sis, right? I spent a lot of time with her when I was a kid, since my parents were so busy working all the time. And...I mean...it sounds kind of like something we would have done...” he pauses, looking a little flustered. “And...plus...if we actually met back then...that would mean...our destiny is even stronger than I thought!”

Miyagi just looks at him. “...Destiny...”

“Right?!”

“...That's what this is about, huh...?” Miyagi says, with a hint of a laugh.

“It must be!” Shinobu insists, eyes wide and brow furrowed.

He’s probably all too aware that Miyagi will never take the destiny thing one-hundred percent seriously, and yet he doesn’t give up on it. He’s honest. Something Miyagi has never been good at.

“Either way,” says the man, absent-mindedly tracing his thumb over Shinobu’s cheek, “I’m grateful. So thank you.”

“Thank you for what?” Shinobu murmurs, quietened by the touch.

“For cheering me up back then. ...And now. And...a lot of things, I guess.”

The kid glowers at him, his cheeks pink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, old man.”

Miyagi sighs, but its a happy sigh rather than one of exasperation. He stares out over the water.

“I would say we should feed the ducks, but I don’t have anything to give them.”

“Good,” says Shinobu, surprisingly sternly. “Ducks don’t _need_ humans to feed them. It just makes them overfed, or at worst, over-reliant on handouts.” He blinks as he notices Miyagi’s raised eyebrows. “What?!”

“Well,” the man says slowly, “...I guess I learned something new today!”

Shinobu growls, thumping him on the shoulder. “That’s just common sense, stupid!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to write more stuff of Shinobu as a child (if only we would get a Minimum chapter involving him, that would be my dream) but for now, I've ended up with...this. It was fun to imagine 'what if' something like this could have happened. 
> 
> Also, ducks


End file.
